Top 100 Facts About Razvan

1 Razvan does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever he goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever he leaves, he leaves a State of Destruction
2 There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Razvan is going to walk.
3 Razvan doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under Razvan.
4 Razvan was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
5 Whenever Razvan plays Chutes and Ladders, he treats the chutes as ladders, because he's not some sissy who can't climb up a plastic slide.
6 Razvan beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.
7 Razvan can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
8 Razvan and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
9 Razvan sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.
10 On his birthday, Razvan randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
11 Razvan is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why he can only kick through doors.
12 When Razvan deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.
13 "Razvan once stated that he ""doesn't wail on sissy boys."" This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Razvan was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on."
14 Razvan has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.
15 Razvan does not sleep. He waits.
16 Razvan died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
17 "Razvan is the only one who can ""try this at home."""
18 Giraffes were created when Razvan uppercutted a horse.
19 When Razvan gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
20 World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Razvan ate Kobayashi.
21 The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of Razvan, only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.
22 "The word ""lesbian"" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as ""She who has not yet been introduced to Razvan."""
23 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Razvan.
24 Razvan's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Razvan will not take crap from anyone.
25 Razvan once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
26 Razvan doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
27 Razvan has beat the crap out of so many people over his brilliant life that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.
28 Razvan can delete the Recycling Bin.
29 "Razvan's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Razvan."
30 "On a high school math test, Razvan put down ""Violence"" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Razvan solves all his problems with Violence."
31 The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Razvan's basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
32 "If you play Led Zeppelin's ""Stairway to Heaven"" backwards, you will hear Razvan laughing at you."
33 "Razvan can watch a season of ""24"" in just three hours."
34 Razvan was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
35 Razvan invented the hammer when he was tired of using his forehead to slam nails into wood.
36 Razvan destroyed the periodic table, saying Razvan only recognizes the element of surprise.
37 Razvan owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
38 Razvan counted to infinity - twice.
39 Razvan's blood type is WD-40.
40 "The eternal conundrum ""what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object"" was finally solved when Razvan punched himself in the face."
41 Razvan became a vegetarian not because he loves animals, but because he hates plants.
42 "Razvan puts the ""laughter"" in ""manslaughter""."
43 When Razvan plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.
44 Circles exist because Razvan beat the crap out of some squares.
45 Only once has Razvan ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.
46 When Razvan gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.
47 Razvan can speak braille.
48 Razvan wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.
49 Razvan was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
50 Getting murdered by Razvan counts as a natural cause of death.
51 Razvan is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
52 Razvan irons his shirts while he's wearing them.
53 Weeping Willows are a result of Razvan yelling at trees for not being tough enough.
54 "The end result of the game ""Clue"" is always the same: Razvan was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster."
55 Razvan can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
56 There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Razvan allows to live.
57 Razvan once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
58 Razvan's family wraps his holiday presents in lead, so he can't see what's in them.
59 The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Razvan has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
60 The last man who made eye contact with Razvan was Ray Charles.
61 Razvan was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
62 Crop circles are Razvan's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.
63 If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Razvan.
64 Razvan once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give him a speeding ticket, however Razvan still pleads his innocence to this day, stating that he was simply out for a morning jog.
65 Razvan can make a paraplegic run for his life.
66 Razvan is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
67 Razvan can tie his shoes with his feet.
68 When Razvan goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
69 Once a cobra bit Razvan's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
70 What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals Razvan has found too chewy to eat.
71 A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Razvan and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
72 Razvan does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Razvan goes killing.
73 The only time Razvan was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
74 Razvan can slam revolving doors.
75 If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Razvan says its beef, then it's beef.
76 Razvan doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
77 If Razvan wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.
78 Razvan can kill two stones with one bird.
79 Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Razvan can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck he wants.
80 In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Razvan could use to kill you, including the room itself.
81 If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, Razvan wins.
82 Razvan had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhere Razvan went the lamb was sure to go. So he killed it.
83 When Razvan enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
84 "Razvan doesn't play ""hide-and-seek."" He plays ""hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."""
85 "The popular videogame ""Doom"" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Razvan and forgot to pay him back."
86 Razvan used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
87 Razvan sleeps with a night light. Not because Razvan is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Razvan
88 Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Razvan's house one Christmas.
89 Razvan played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
90 You are what you eat. That is why Razvan's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
91 Razvan always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
92 Superman owns a pair of Razvan pajamas.
93 Razvan can predict the shuffle on his iPod.
94 Razvan knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).
95 Razvan can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
96 Razvan is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
97 Razvan is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
98 Onions do not make Razvan cry. Razvan makes onions crap themselves.
99 Razvan invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
100 Razvan does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.